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| Insane Sanity |
I can't bear to listen anymore
To the voices that riddle my brain with
Words that I never understand
When will it end the rope is reaching it's breaking point
And I can't take too much anymore--at least I think so
But I haven't thought in a while so it's hard to
Make judgment calls on myself
Where did it all start to fall apart I lost count so long ago
All of this is my fault I know that now and that's why troubles me
I can't hide my pain anymore and I'm so afraid to let go
For fear that I'll lose the very little that I have left
I wrestle with the thoughts of falling asleep and never waking up again
It's all psychological torture but I feel so consciously
Aware of what I'm doing
And it's becoming an out of body experience
I see myself but not through my own eyes
Or maybe I only think I see myself but I don't. Like always.
When will the voices stop I can't fight it anymore
I'm getting so tired of trying to find a way out
Some kind of excuse that I've used a hundred times before in the past
When I felt the hand
Across my skin sting me like a thousand little knives
The same hand that used to feed me as a child
So heavenly I was never
Too well-tempered and I don't know who's fault it is
I can't take it anymore I'm starting to lose my
Grip on the wet railing
That I've latched on to when I tried to jump away all my problems
While the rain beat hard across my face and all I could
Hear was the water
Falling so sweetly in the spring air that smelled so fresh
Nothing like the character that I had built up for so many years
Surrounded by the wall that I kept so heavily guarded
I didn't know myself anymore if I ever really did
I only pretend to know everything
When in reality I don't know a damn thing
But please forgive me for all my past mistakes that I never learned from
That was all yesterday and today but never tomorrow
At least I pray to a God I don't believe in that it won't be tomorrow
And I look up into the rain and hope that I won't fall when I let go.